Pest Control Tips


Billy the Exterminator: Full Episode – Wild Wedding Party

 

The call of the wild is taking me north to battle crazy new critters. [howl] [bleep] A flock of foraging fowl take roost at the wrong party. While exotic arthropods play a high stakes game of hide and seek.

Come out, come out, wherever you are! Please don’t bite me! Ow, he got me! Yeah! (insects buzzi[♪♪♪]d trilling) [♪♪♪] -Hi, Bea. -Hey. Good morning, how’s it going? [Bea] Oh, someone has a breakfast of champions.

I know right, I was driving to work and there was a little shack on the side of the road. I go up there and ask the guy ‘What’s good here?’ and he’s like “Pudi.” Man, this is freaking good.

But why would they call it “Pudi”? They don’t actually call it that at all, they call it poutine. My bad. [both laugh] So, what’s on the docket? Well, I’ve got a call in from a woman named Kim, she’s a wedding planner.

She has wild turkeys in the venue. What? I know, she’s got tons of stuff still left to do and it’s all on hold. Wow. Hey, Mr. Poutini, it’s a sunset wedding, so you gotta get out there. Alright, Bea.

If anything else comes in, you know where to find me. Yeah, sleeping in your car after you eat that. [Billy] “Poutine”. So disgusting. Weddings are supposed to give people warm, fuzzy feelings but this one is threatening to gobble up the good vibes.

Wild turkeys are dangerous, and catching them will be tough. So, I called my backup Terry, to even the score. -Terry! -Billy, how’s it going, man? -Good man, how about yourself? -Not bad Running around, chasing animals.

That’s all I do, day in, day out, folks. [laughs] Kim, Billy and Terry. Also known as your knights in shining armour. Fill us in. We’ve got a wedding today, I went up to the barn, I opened the door and there are some crazy giant bird, I think they’re turkeys I’m not sure.

We’ve got decor companies coming in, they’ve got so much work to do, we’ve got caterers coming in an hour. The bride and groom, I haven’t told them. I don’t want to get them too upset.

[Billy] Personally, I’d just be upset knowing I was getting married in a barn. Never mind the turkeys. To be honest, I’m totally afraid of birds. So, there’s no way I’m going in there.

I shut the door, I’m out here. I’m not sure how they got in. But there’s no way this wedding can happen, with a barn full of turkeys. No. Wild turkeys love to forage. If they’re finding food in this barn, they’ll just keep coming back for seconds.

We’ve gotta get them out of here for good. Ma’am, don’t worry about it. We’re gonna get in there, we’ll be quick. If you guys can get this done in an hour, max. That would be amazing.

We’re not a part of the wedding plan, I guess, eh? [laughs] Folks, we’re ready for action. Alright, Billy, let’s see what we got ourselves into here. [Billy] Here we go, man. Let’s see what’s going on in here.

[gobbling] Oh [bleep]! [Terry] Wild turkeys, this time of year, folks, they’re everywhere. They’re on your rooves, they’re in your backyard, they cause accidents on the highway. We’re gonna have our hands full.

They’re just struttin’ everywhere this time of year. They’re just in heat, looking for a woman. [laughs] Let’s get this set up, so we’re ready for it. Wild turkeys can run up to 40 kilometers an hour.

So, once we catch ’em, we gotta cage ’em. Okay Terry, let’s sneak up on them, try and keep them calm. It may be called a pecking order, but wild turkeys don’t peck their enemies, they beat them with their wings and tear them apart with the spurs on the back of their legs.

How the hell they got in this barn, I dunno Billy. [Billy] Terry and I see the wild turkeys and get so excited we forget our big net and try and catch ’em bare handed. What a disaster, oh my goodness! [Billy] Big mistake.

If this is Terry’s stealth mode, we’re in big trouble. Oh, missed him! Ahh! The secret to catching the b is to be the bird. Got one up here! [♪♪♪] Ah, missed him! Scratch that, the secret is to be smarter than the bird.

[Terry] Here, which one do you want? [Billy] Ah! The one that got away! New plan, it’s time to work together to divide and conquer. This white one seems to be the alpha male, gotta keep eyes on him.

He’s looking for trouble. Alright, let me try to get in on him here. [Terry] Alright, you take him there… Here he comes, you got him! [Billy] Alright, come on man, be cool. [Terry] You got him! -Here he comes, Billy! -Whoa, missed him! So much for the myth that turkeys don’t fly, these big birds aren’t going without a flight or a fight.

Got him! Got the alpha! [Terry] Alright, I’m on my way! [Billy] Whoops, getting away. [gobbles] Got him, Terry? Nice, brother! It definitely took the two of us to tango with the Tom. But we caught him, and now we’re finally in business.

We got your leader! Just like back in the old school yard. When you’re facing a gang of bullies, go for the biggest guy first. Because if he falls, everybody else is running scared. Let’s try to net ’em in a corner, Billy.

-Here, we’ll use this. -What is this? It’s not a bride’s veil is it? I hope it’s not. We’re gonna be in big trouble if it belongs to the bride, I’m telling you that! Hell has no fury like a woman scorned.

Or a bride with turkey poo on her veil. Same difference. [Terry] Let’s see what we can do here. [Billy] Come around the outside here. [Terry] Come on inside that lamp! [Billy] Yup, good call. Okay guys, you’re not part of the wedding party so you will have to come out of here.

[Terry] Here we are. It’s gonna be a grand slam! [Billy groans] Grand slam, more like a strikeout. [Terry] I got a couple here Bill. [Billy] Oh, lost him. [Terry] I don’t know about the net plan.

If we don’t get better at this, Kim’s wedding is going into extra innings. Why don’t we try spotlighting him to get him to freeze in place. Okay, Billy, just give me a second. Turkeys may not be the smartest creatures, but they can see 270 degrees in front of their faces with perfect focus.

I think it’s a dance light, Billy. What? That’s why distraction is totally necessary. We’re gonna be doing a turkey dance, here. [♪♪♪] Yeah, yeah, bust a move. I haven’t seen moves like that, since the early 70s.

[laughs] -Yeah, that’s freakin’ em out. -He doesn’t know what’s goin on. They’re mesmerized. [Terry] A little light going there. [Billy] Hell, I’m mesmerized now. [Terry] Alright, I got ’em hypnotized, you see what you can do here.

-I want to dance with you. -Alright, alright! [♪♪♪] Take ’em Billy, take ’em. Oh, nice grab! Holy crap, brother. That was gangster right there. [Terry] I played a lot of football and rugby, but turkeys, that’s a different ball game, there.

Just a little more fun, that’s all. [♪♪♪] -Trying to hypnotize him here. -He can’t see. I got him bobbing! Got him man! Thank you, brother. We’ve only bagged half these turkeys. The barn’s become a feather factory.

And now we’re running out of time. Not time to celebrate, but hey. [Terry] Time to go, I hear the bells ringing! [Billy] Wedding planner Kim, gave me and Terry 60 minutes to clear a flock of wild turkeys from this beautiful barn.

[bleep] Trouble is, these birds wanna crash the wedding and won’t get the flock outta here. Alright, buddy. Three down, three to go, Terry. We’re pulling out all the big guns now. We’ve got the strobe light and the bride’s veil.

These turkeys are as good as gone. Got one! [Terry] Put him in the corner, here! [Billy] Runaway bride. [Terry] Me and Billy are cut from the same cloth almost like we’re twins, we know what was going on left and right, here.

Ying and yang. [shouting and gobbling] Well done! [Terry shouting] Nice! Turkeys are fast, they’re wild! They’re running for their life. They don’t realize that we’re not gonna eat ’em.

That’s it Billy, you got him. Bring him here. [Billy] Finally, the last turkey! And no time to waste. -Got ’em! -Alright, nice one! They say a bird in hand is worth two in the bush. That was awesome, man, we did it! Alright! I say six birds in a cage is worth a half a day’s pay.

Oh, hey Kim. [Kim] Oh my gosh, these things are gigantic. This is way over my head. I gotta tell you, things didn’t go perfect. Me and Terry, we put the crash in wedding crashers. I’m sorry, we got the turkeys but we also have a pretty big mess in there.

That’s all that matters. I can get my team in we can get back on schedule, we’ve got a barn to clean up, and we’ve got this wedding to put on, it’s going to be such an amazing day. We’re gonna get ’em outta here.

We’re gonna take ’em to a place, really far away from here. They’ll be able to run around wild out there. Next stop for these tasty feather balls, wild turkey heaven. Thanks guys! Don’t you worry, I’m talking about heaven on earth.

[Terry] Alright, here we go, Billy. [Billy] I like it. We’ve got the dense woods, I hardly see any roads where we drove up. All I see is bush and a couple fields. -That’s all these turkeys need.

-Yup. I just hope these lovely turkeys steer clear of the dinner plates and cranberry sauce, when good ol’ Thanksgiving comes around. Alright, I guess that’s it. Terry, we’ve done our job.

Sounds good, Billy, let’s hit the road. Alright. It’s always been a great time with Billy, I can’t wait for the next one. [♪♪♪] [♪♪♪] [♪♪♪] [phone rings] What up, Bea? I am creeped right out.

I just got off a call with this woman named Monica, get this. She evicts her tenant, that lives in the basement. But apparently, he had something for exotic bugs or something he left them there.

There are giant centipedes in her basement. Those things are insanely big. I know, I can’t even. Okay, I’m gonna swing by and pick you up, I’m gonna take you out on this one with me I need extra eyes on this.

I would love to do that for you, but I am very busy here filing… I’ve got lots of files. I couldn’t possibly leave this. [Billy] Okay, I’ll let you off the hook on this one just text me the information, I’m heading over there right now.

That I can do. This is an emergency, so no time for prep. If those critters get out of that apartment, we could have a real serious situation here. Because giant centipedes are biters. These things are dangerous.

-Hi, Billy. -Hey. -How are you? -Good, Monica. I’m Monica, nice to meet you, this is Ryan. Ryan, how you doing, man? Good. So, you had a downstairs basement apartment. Somebody was renting it, keeping wild animals down there? I’m not sure, they were very exotic.

Man, people with exotic pets they’re usually quite exotic themselves. Some tarantulas, there were a couple of bugs I didn’t know about. And so then he left, I was just going downstairs to clean and I saw something out of the corner of my eye move really, really fast.

I thought it was a centipede, and I looked it up online, and I think it’s poisonous. [♪♪♪] [Billy] I’ve handled a lot of big bugs. Tarantulas, big cockroaches, but never giant centipedes.

Bring it on, Bugzilla. It is a centipede, man. They get good traction on the walls and can really move so that opens up my search area three dimensionally, high and low. Giant centipedes are the bullies of the arthropod world.

They’ll eat anything they can overpower. Amphibians, reptiles, mammals, their venom can even kill a human. Some stuff that was left from the move here. There’s a lot of places these centipedes can hide.

Dark areas, wet areas, revolting areas. They can squeeze into the tiniest places. No, I got a lot of looking to do. Appliances are a problem. It’s a natural… area that insects and animals like to gravitate towards.

The working motor can keep these cold blooded creatures warm. Also, a lot of food and debris will accumulate under there. It’s just a perfect area to get little nasties. I gotta check here pretty thoroughly.

Some of these centipedes can grow way longer than my hand, if well fed. Yeah, man, when people move they really should get rid of the food. And judging by this dirt-ball kitchen, there’s plenty to eat.

Check the bathroom. Whoa. Whoa! Did y’all see that? [Billy] Inside Monica’s basement rental, I’m looking for exotic pets that belonged to her exotic former tenant… I’ve gotta check here pretty thoroughly.

.. And inside this mess, I caught a glimpse of the creepiest and meanest of all the creepy crawlers. Did y’all see that? Did you see where it came in? Man, I got a good look at that. That, I’m positive was a Vietnamese centipede and it’s under one of these boxes or something, it ran right through here.

Vietnamese centipedes are fast, aggressive and have one of the most painful bites in the world if you survive, it’s up to ten days of extreme pain. Let’s see if we’ve got anything going on in here.

Okay though, on this. They can slither and move like a snake and they can turn on a dime. I might have just missed my only chance to find this killer critter. Alright, this ain’t good. I’ve got an aquarium here, it’s sectioned off in three areas, it’s got.

.. is this the name of the animals? Cornelius, Pinches and Mr. Mittens. How ominous. So, I think I’m looking for maybe up to three centipedes. I don’t Monica will be too happy to find out we’re dealing with a triple threat.

I’ve gotta find these little buggers and fast. Looks like maybe a cat was living here but it also created these openings a centipede could get into. [bleep] No, I’m good. Was a little burr in there.

A little jumpy. [♪♪♪] [♪♪♪] [♪♪♪] [sighs] It’s bad luck to open umbrellas indoors, but I don’t have a choice. Hello? Anybody in here? Man, it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack of filth.

I guess I’m gonna have to start flipping boxes, I’ve got a bunch of stuff on this wall here. More cardboard. Just some old shoes here. Oh sh– [bleep] I did not at all expect to see that! Holy [bleep]! Very venomous centipede inside of a shoe, here.

Anybody could’ve taken this shoe out, tried to wear it. And man, they’d have a nasty surprise waiting on ’em. I don’t know what’s worse, the centipede or the stink coming out of this shoe! I guess you kind of look like a Cornelius.

Alright, I’ve gotta get you in here. Getting this out of the shoe is not gonna be easy, man. Whoa! It almost got me. Ooh! That wasn’t pretty, but I did get one of them. One down, two to go. Try these appliances here, see if he’s anywhere back here.

He’s in the sink, another one’s in the sink. Look at that, I’ll be damned. I thought it was a noodle for a sec, but it’s not. Wow, you little SOB. Alright, I gotta get him into something.

Here we go. Man, he is fast. Let’s see, uh… Let’s try this spatula thing, here. See if I can… Jeez! Get in there, get in there quick. come on, let go. I’m gonna get bit. Got him in there.

Where’s the lid to this damn thing? Here we go. [sighs] Man, Vietnamese centipede right there. With a little tequila and lime, we got a Billy margarita. Don’t come out of here too fast, guy. You’re already freaking me out.

Two down, one to go. Okay, that leaves Mr. Mittens. Mr. Mittens, where the [bleep] are you? Oh, Mr. Mittens… This one’s not gonna make it easy. Mr. Mittens, quit hiding. Mr. Mittens… Where are you? I gotta get inside its head, man.

I mean, anticipate its next move, be one with the mitten. Got any idea where this guy would be? There he is. Booya! Let me get some tongs, and let’s use this bucket, that’ll work, alright. Okay.

Damn, he’s quick. [bleep] Oh, you’re pretty. Got a little mad there, snipping at the tongs. Mr. Mittens, don’t be fooled by the name. He’s the most vicious of the three. What are you doing? [bleep] I’m losing grip of him.

[bleep] I’m losing the grip. [bleeps] Watch out, guys. Centipedes test bite all the surfaces they walk on. If you get one on your skin, it’s pretty much inevitable, you’re gonna get bit. Don’t bite me please, don’t bite me.

Ow! He got me! [bleep] [Billy] I’m in a basement apartment, wrangling deadly Vietnamese centipedes. I’m gonna get bit. This one’s called Mr. Mittens, but it’s not his mitts I’m worried about.

Ow! He got me! He just forced his poison forcipules into my dang arm. Oh [bleep], he got me! That hurt! Taking a bite from a venomous centipede is just bad all around. It’s just a violent stinging.

I mean, it’s 20 times worse than a hornet sting. Okay, umm… I know I saw some peroxide when I was looking around in here somewhere. Luckily I’ve had neuro-toxic venom shot into my veins before so I know what to do.

There it is, right here in the bathroom. Treat it with some peroxide. Oh, man that burns. [crew member] Shouldn’t we be calling 911? Don’t call anybody, I’m okay. Centipede bites throb and burn and keep even a tough guy like me cringing for up to a week.

I think I got it okay, guys. The good news, unless you’re a small child or allergic, you’ll definetly live to do something stupid again. That’s horrifying. [Billy] This is highly venomous, you did exactly the right thing by calling me.

Oh, Billy. I’m a trained professional, and I got bit by one of these. Fortunately, I don’t think I need to amputate it. Billy, I’m so sorry that you got bit. It’s okay. Although, having a hook for a hand, might be pretty cool.

Well, you know what Billy, I think you can keep these. [Billy] They’re rare, I think I’m gonna keep ’em. I’d love for the little guy to have them, but they’re just too dangerous. -You don’t want them, right Ry? -I want one.

-No, no, no. -Of course he does. [Monica] No, no. If you get bit by one, it could be deadly. Now that we’re moving forward, I’m gonna be looking for a new tenant. Thank you for getting them out of my house.

-You’re very welcome. -And I think, no pets. Ah… Here we go. I’m gonna take you all back to the office. I got somebody, you just gotta meet. These guys are really growing on me. We’ve been through so much together.

I think I’ll adopt them. Alright. She’s gonna frickin’ love these things. Hey, Bea! [Bea screams] [Bea] Get those out, out! Right now, go! Away, away.